discarding my flash card lists

sunday was Lord's supper sunday. i struggled to approach the table with the appropriate mindset due to some lack of continuity of a worshipful service... it was almost like it had been tacked on at the end, just another thing to be checked off... it made me frustrated (and disappointed) at the time, but i have reflected on it since then and come to a mighty close-to-home conclusion: those of us who make lists (whether tangible or mental, i am a combination of both) have the tendency to work our way through infamous to-do lists. our routines are rigid to the point of disconcerted affects should we be forced to deviate from our plans. we like to see the checked boxes and will go out of our way to achieve our full day; in the same manner, we are put-out by multiple unchecked boxes and find ourselves unable to attain proper rest until the list is completed... sunday appeared to be a check in the box of proper Lord's supper service constituents for me. it was not a worshipful act; it was not regarded as sacred; it was not what i wanted and needed it to be even though it was checked off for the quarter...

it isn't enough to show up at the end of the day with a completed to-do list... it isn't enough to hold up 28470 lists of varying lengths and components during a funeral service... it isn't enough...

as i sat and prayed for God to prepare me to actively participate in this act of worship, the "isn't enough" concept flooded me... not the to-do list, not the checks vs unchecks... the "isn't enough" is what called me out... so yes, as i prayed in preparation these words overwhelmed my spirit--

heal my heart and make it clear
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything i am for Your kingdom's cause
as i walk from nothing into eternity

-- not your typical communion song... especially for organ-loving, all-verse singing, fellowshipping southern baptists :) and yet it is in so many ways! here is the whole song...

i abandon my to-do list when i adopt these words as my purpose. i am more available for spontaneous demonstrations of God's love, more in-tune with His Spirit, more willing to act as the hands and feet of my Savior... you know what i mean?

i pray that these words will continue to sing out from my heart in the coming days, months, years, and decades... it is one of those prayers that i could pray all day long :)

... and a song i can sing all eternity long!!! ~hosanna in the highest~

happy spring~

another month has passed witout a post... but a lot has happened in that month... we reached a significant milestone in pa school *more days of class behind us than there are in front of us* daylight savings time is in action, march madness is upon us, spring break came and went, seasons changed...... and i got a puppy :)


this is maybelle riley with her monkey friend. she is a mastiff mix of sorts *we think* and about six weeks old in this picture. only 10 pounds then :) my mother says that she acts just like me when i was little... but i didn't bite :) needless to say, life has changed a lot.

just a quick little update... i have a list of post topics to tackle- get ready :)