how many names?

i have been struggling a little bit... living by yourself can be a hard thing to do, especially when you are used to college dorms and rambunctious sisters. school is picking up big time, and i feel like i could drown any given week. its the mental side of it... knowing everything you have to do- everything you have to grow up to be... overwhelming, yes... impossible, no...

then i stumbled across this little excerpt from on of my most favorite books:

"when i live like i'm privileged, i have lost the plot. in other words, when i start acting like i deserve a certain outcome or a higher standard of life, i have failed to strike the fatal blow to self and am living like i actually have rights in this world apart from God. when i am demanding, i have lost the plot, insisting that God and others meet my needs on the timetable that i see fit. when i act pompous, i have lost the plot, thinking that i am somebody while only proving that i haven't had a good look at God today. when i crumble under the pressure, i have lost the plot, declaring that the outcome of life rests squarely on my shoulders, not His. when i start protecting, i have lost the plot, marking turf as though it were actually mine and forgetting that everything i have comes first from above. when i crave the spotlight for myself, i have lost the plot, losing sight of the story line and the one true Star. when i fail to celebrate the success of others who are living for His fame, i have lost the plot, thinking that possibly we are on different teams when we actually share supporting roles the same story. when i dwell on feelings of being unloved, unnoticed, or insignificant, i have lost the plot, abandoning the miracle of knowing God on a first-name basis." ~louie giglio, i am not but i know I AM

knowing that i know I AM... knowing that i know that i am not I AM... gosh, that takes off some pressure, yeah? and that made me think of this song by nichole nordeman. Elbow Healer, Superhero, Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, my Best Friend, Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker, Holder of my hand, Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End... I AM :) wow, how little are we?

this isn't really an "introspective look into erin's head" blog today... this is a sharing of erin's heart-