what do i know of Holy?

as i was driving home from a long *long* day of school yesterday, i was feeling defeated. the return to school from a five day weekend wasn't particularly pleasant- especially since we had a make-up class before a test i didn't feel prepared to take before a pharmacology lecture on laxatives and anti-diarrheals... the whole day felt like crap *:)* actually...

so yes, i was driving home... traffic was unusually thick... i had an hour to make it from school to home *to change and eat* to church... i was impatient and discouraged- i had more important things to do than sit in the never ending red lights of monroe!!!

and then i heard my radio, as if it hadn't been on my entire drive, i heard my radio say, "what do i know, what do i know of Holy?"

... what do i know? that day, i felt like i knew nothing at all... what did i know of holy? that day, i felt like i knew nothing of Him at all... i answered the question out loud after the feminine voice posed the lyrical question- "nothing" and quickly pushed the repeat button on the dash.

we had talked about psalm 139 in church and sunday school this past sunday i didn't pay much attention to the sermon, but i had been dwelling on psalm 139 most of last week to prepare for class --> God forming us and knowing us so intimately... God's allowing us to see Him as the Creator of all... the Creator of us all... the mystery behind His creative hands... and His allowing us to understand how great He is... to the point that when we try to grasp His magnitude we lose whatever grip we had on the vastness of God and fall into the 'mind-blown' human minds that hold us all prisoners...

"if You touched my face, would i know You? looked into my eyes, could i behold You? what do i know of You who spoke me into motion? where have i even stood but the shore along Your ocean? are You fire? are You fury? are You sacred? are You beautiful? what do i know, what do i know of Holy? i guess i thought that i had figured you out. i knew all the stories and i learned to talk about how You were mighty to save, but those were only empty words on a page. then i caught a glimpse of who You might be; the slightest hint of You brought me down to my own knees. what do i know of Holy? what do i know of wounds that will heal my shame? and a God who gave life its name? what do i know of Holy? of the one Whom the angels praise? all creation knows Your name. on earth and heaven above, what do i know of this love? what do i know of Holy?"

i guess it kinda hit me wednesday afternoon that i was falling once again to see the greatness of God once more... spinning as i fell... amazed by everything i saw above me, everything i thought i had almost understood........ it was the most beautiful, most comfortable fall i have had in a long time

the sun was red that afternoon as it was setting *one of my favorite things ever* a piercing shade of red that penetrated my eyes and soul... i think it was my gentle landing... definitely an "on my knees" landing~

the day didn't seem so bad after that. it all felt very small. very, very small... kind of like this 'little i'

what do you know of Holy?